I'm always looked at strangely when I tell people I'm a virgin. Common remarks are, "Really, but you are so pretty!", "Do you have Daddy problems or something?", and "You don't know what your missing.". I am going to touch on these comment/questions and hopefully give you a little insight on why I am still a virgin.
"Really, but you are so pretty!" -A young girl in my choir class who has a new boy friend every week.
This one is probably the one that pisses me off the most. Since when does the 'prettiness' of a person determine whether they should be a virgin or not? Loosing your virginity is not a marker on how beautiful you are. Sexual partners should not be used as a point system to determine your attractiveness to others. I will admit, I have had many offers of people asking if they could change my virginity status. If I wanted to, I could be a veteran at bumping uglies. However, unlike most people in this corrupt work, I do not judge myself based off of other's opinions. Yes, it is nice to hear someone call you beautiful every now and again, but I don't need to show every man my vagina to be comfortable with my body. I know what parts of my body are attractive and which aren't. So excuse me for not taking this statement as a compliment. Maybe you should be more worried about finding a bit more self worth, Miss FuckALot, than worrying about why I choose to keep my legs closed despite a pretty face.
"Do you have like Daddy problems or something?"- A friend I no longer speak with.
One, this is none of your business. Two, yes I do, but why would you ask that? I'll admit, some of the things my father has told my mother has made me hate the sexual side of myself. I have been working against the lately, and have been able to over come a lot of this hatred. I have learned to accept my body and it's urges, although acting upon them have been an issue in the past. Yes, I occasionally have flash backs of my past, and even nightmares when my mind wanders to that side of the spectrum. However, this in no way shape or form effects my ability to loose my virginity. I only have said Daddy problems when something triggers that reaction. As long as I feel safe and comfortable in the position I am in, I can function like a completely normal human being and act on my urges as such. I have experienced sexual acts in a position where I am not comfortable, and I know how to stop things before I have an anxiety attack. I know myself better than anyone else, so having a bad past with my father does not make me incapable of having sex. It may make things harder, but thank you for the fake concern.
"You don't know what you are missing."- The school's notorious slut.
This actually made me laugh when I first heard it. I had to actually make sure she was being serious when she first told me this. I have sexual urges. I don't think you could go through your teenage years without having them. I do, in fact, masturbate. The idea that virgins are these white clad angels in disguise with no need for anything but ever lasting love is utter bull shit. Whoever says they've never touched themselves, or at least had the urge to, is a fucking liar. I get sexually frustrated. I have come home from my ex boy friend's house so turned on that I had to go straight into the shower and take care of myself. Yes, I know how being pleased sexually feels, and I know that having sex feels really good. That's like basic sex education for you right there. I know that I am not getting all the satisfaction I could by not allowing any male on the planet to stick his penis in me. I understand. However, I also, unlike you, want that moment to be special. And if that means I have to masturbate until I'm forty and live with 49 cats, that is what I will do. So yes, I'm giving up pleasure right now in the hope that I will one day find someone I want to give everything to. Including my 49 cats.
Hopefully, this will give you a tiny bit more insight into the lovely mind I call my own. I hope I haven't offended anyone, and if I have, I'm sorry. This is just how I personally feel on the subject.