I have touched briefly on these, but I haven't really explained them. I actually currently am coming down from an anxiety attack, and writing always gives my mind something else to focus on, so please do excuse me if my grammar is slightly off or if I begin to ramble. Anyways, let's begin.
I'm going to start with my night terrors. When I tell people about these, they get confused as to why I don't simply call them nightmares. The difference between what I call night terrors and nightmares is, when I'm having I nightmare, I wake up and I might be frightened and confused at first, but I almost immediately realize where I am and what happened. With a night terror, I wake up disoriented. Sometimes I slip right into flash backs after my night terrors or sometimes it just takes me a very long time to realize where I am and that I am safe. I normally only have around 2 to 3 night terrors a week, although they are triggered if I spend any amount of time with my father, or if for some reason I feel unsafe. I have had night terrors around other's, and have been told they are scary to witness, and I'd like to offer some advice for someone who is having a night terror.
1. Do not restrain them under any circumstance.
When having my night terrors, I used to unknowingly scratch at my arms to try to bring myself out of this state. I was with my ex boy friend and had accidentally fallen asleep on him and had had a night terror. As I began scratching myself, he panicked and got on top of me and pinned me down so I could not hurt myself. Imagine being in my position, unsure of what was occurring, stuck in an in-between state of memories and reality. Being held down, I was sent into a full blown anxiety attack. Moral of the story, speak calmly, hold your companions hands gently if they are known to scratch. Do not make them incapable of moving freely.
2. Remain calm, and do not yell.
Once again, this should be fairly obvious, but if the person you are with is unsure of reality, it is easy to just yell at them, it's not real! The thing is, in that moment, it is very real to them. They feel like they are in a place that is not safe, and yelling at them won't help. Instead, have them focus on things that are a part of their surroundings. An exercise I find useful, is when the person with you holds your hand, or touches your shoulder. Any physical contact really, and has you concentrate on that. Slowly, you and the person you are with can reason your way through the situation calmly and effectively.
3. Do not answer if they ask you questions. Speak to them, but do not play into their fantasy.
I have a reoccurring night terror of my father asking me if I trust him. When I respond of course, he proceeds to have me lay on his bed where he begins strangling me. It is possibly one of the most frightening and most realistic of my night terrors, to the point where I can actually feel his hands on my throat and his legs pressing against my waist. As you know, I have a tendency of talking in my sleep. I was with my ex (wow, a lot of bad ex stories today, sorry) and we were sleeping together. Apparently I'd started mumbling some nonsense as if I was having a conversation with someone. Out of nowhere I apparently had said, "Of course." and had proceeded to make noises as if I were being choked. I kept trying to say 'Daddy, stop.' as I normally do in the dream, and at some point my ex had said, "It's not your father, Lisa. It's Austin." By saying this, he triggered something inside me. Instead of my dad strangling me, it was him. This only lengthened the time it took me to get a grasp on reality. Do not speak with the person experiencing the night terror other than to help them grasp onto reality. Using this case as an example, it normally ends badly.
Now, for my panic attacks. I have been fairly well on controlling my own panic attacks through out the years, but having someone help is always nice. Normally, I try to avoid my triggers. For example, I am deathly afraid of being in an enclosed space. When I feel like I couldn't leave an area without a struggle it triggers my anxiety. However, if I surround myself with people I know, and have a small group of friends with me, I'm normally able to get my wits about me. I've always been afraid of the dark unless someone was with me, and therefore sleep with a night light (if you laugh I will kill you) when I'm alone. I have a fear of my back being uncovered when I sleep, and therefore sleep with a body pillow. I go through many precautions to stop myself from having any unnecessary panic attacks, but sometimes my panic attacks are triggered by the smallest things. Especially if I'm being abnormally stressed, I could get a panic attack if a stranger grabbed me a bit too firmly on the shoulder. If you want advice on how to help someone having an anxiety attack, read this (-click here-). It has a lot of good advice on it. I personally like having someone there with me to help me talk through what is going on to get my mind off of things. I know some of you won't, but I find it effective.
I hope this helps anyone who is going through anything similar to what I am. I am happy to say that this defiantly helped with my attack and I am back to my old self. Thanks for helping me get my mind off of everything for a bit.
Sincerely yours,
The Advice Giver
1. Do not restrain them under any circumstance.
When having my night terrors, I used to unknowingly scratch at my arms to try to bring myself out of this state. I was with my ex boy friend and had accidentally fallen asleep on him and had had a night terror. As I began scratching myself, he panicked and got on top of me and pinned me down so I could not hurt myself. Imagine being in my position, unsure of what was occurring, stuck in an in-between state of memories and reality. Being held down, I was sent into a full blown anxiety attack. Moral of the story, speak calmly, hold your companions hands gently if they are known to scratch. Do not make them incapable of moving freely.
2. Remain calm, and do not yell.
Once again, this should be fairly obvious, but if the person you are with is unsure of reality, it is easy to just yell at them, it's not real! The thing is, in that moment, it is very real to them. They feel like they are in a place that is not safe, and yelling at them won't help. Instead, have them focus on things that are a part of their surroundings. An exercise I find useful, is when the person with you holds your hand, or touches your shoulder. Any physical contact really, and has you concentrate on that. Slowly, you and the person you are with can reason your way through the situation calmly and effectively.
3. Do not answer if they ask you questions. Speak to them, but do not play into their fantasy.
I have a reoccurring night terror of my father asking me if I trust him. When I respond of course, he proceeds to have me lay on his bed where he begins strangling me. It is possibly one of the most frightening and most realistic of my night terrors, to the point where I can actually feel his hands on my throat and his legs pressing against my waist. As you know, I have a tendency of talking in my sleep. I was with my ex (wow, a lot of bad ex stories today, sorry) and we were sleeping together. Apparently I'd started mumbling some nonsense as if I was having a conversation with someone. Out of nowhere I apparently had said, "Of course." and had proceeded to make noises as if I were being choked. I kept trying to say 'Daddy, stop.' as I normally do in the dream, and at some point my ex had said, "It's not your father, Lisa. It's Austin." By saying this, he triggered something inside me. Instead of my dad strangling me, it was him. This only lengthened the time it took me to get a grasp on reality. Do not speak with the person experiencing the night terror other than to help them grasp onto reality. Using this case as an example, it normally ends badly.
Now, for my panic attacks. I have been fairly well on controlling my own panic attacks through out the years, but having someone help is always nice. Normally, I try to avoid my triggers. For example, I am deathly afraid of being in an enclosed space. When I feel like I couldn't leave an area without a struggle it triggers my anxiety. However, if I surround myself with people I know, and have a small group of friends with me, I'm normally able to get my wits about me. I've always been afraid of the dark unless someone was with me, and therefore sleep with a night light (if you laugh I will kill you) when I'm alone. I have a fear of my back being uncovered when I sleep, and therefore sleep with a body pillow. I go through many precautions to stop myself from having any unnecessary panic attacks, but sometimes my panic attacks are triggered by the smallest things. Especially if I'm being abnormally stressed, I could get a panic attack if a stranger grabbed me a bit too firmly on the shoulder. If you want advice on how to help someone having an anxiety attack, read this (-click here-). It has a lot of good advice on it. I personally like having someone there with me to help me talk through what is going on to get my mind off of things. I know some of you won't, but I find it effective.
I hope this helps anyone who is going through anything similar to what I am. I am happy to say that this defiantly helped with my attack and I am back to my old self. Thanks for helping me get my mind off of everything for a bit.
Sincerely yours,
The Advice Giver